FOX's 'K-ville' misses its mark

I knew it as soon as Anthony Anderson uttered the words, “How’s your momma and dem?”

FOX’s new cop series, “K-Ville,” is the latest attempt by Hollywood to capture the intricate soul of New Orleans and edit it for television. Like most productions before it, “K-Ville” drowns in a lake of clichés. (Please excuse the flood reference.)

The show premiered at 8 p.m. Monday night, with a second episode airing Tuesday.

Audiences were introduced to main character Marlin Boulet (Anderson), a New Orleans police officer still dealing with demons brought on by the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Boulet’s partner Charlie (Derek Webster) abandoned him after the storm, and the memory is seriously messing with Boulet’s head. (Not to mention, Charlie appears – unnecessarily – at various points in the pilot, groveling and begging for his job back.)

Boulet’s new partner, Trevor Cobb (Cole Hauser), is greeted hastily as an outsider. Cobb is meant to be a mysterious character, but unfortunately, the show’s writers let his criminal past out of the bag before audiences could even begin to be intrigued.

Monday night’s plot was too complicated and easily forgettable... Something about a disgruntled New Orleans blueblood buying up plots of land in the 9th Ward so “those responsible” for her brother’s murder would never resettle the area. And some Army-special-ops-turned-casino-security-guards were involved as well. I forget.

For me, the plot ceases to matter when the details are so off-the-mark. Sure, it was interesting to see Hollywood-style explosions and cars flying through the air Blues Brothers-style amongst historic New Orleans architecture. FOX, as a network, is pretty good about its action sequences.

But the show seemed, well, scripted. It was so bad that I could almost envision the cast sitting around a table going over its lines in pre-production. And it doesn’t help that every time I look at Anderson, I get visions of “Kangaroo Jack.” (I admit, I’ve never seen him as a gangster in USA’s “The Shield.”) He’s a fine enough actor, but I have trouble taking him seriously.

The writers seemed obsessed with weaving in local “isms” – like “neutral grounds” and “gumbo parties” (which is a new term for me, and I’ve lived here all my life). And then there were the egregious references to the hardest-to-say streets, like Carondelet and Rocheblave. (Nevermind that those streets probably don’t intersect and therefore cannot host a high-speed chase.) The aforementioned blueblood antagonists made their residence in what looked like St. James Parish’s Oak Alley Plantation, but step outside their yard, and you’re back in the Quarter. I, for one, was confused.

And then, after all the forced acting and forced references to local culture, came the preachiness.

Boulet scolds a neighborhood kid for trying to dig up and steal a cypress tree sapling from the officer’s front yard. The cypress tree, Boulet says, is (his) favorite tree; it used to grow throughout this great city before the salty water flooded the area. (If you don’t understand how that information could be preachy, just imagine if Ray Nagin had slipped it into his “Chocolate City” speech.)

That being said, I am in no way offended by the slightly negative portrayal of the NOPD. Boulet’s a cop who drinks on duty. Cobb is a convicted armed robber who escaped four months of prison time after Katrina flooded his jail cell. No one seems to care. That could actually be the closest thing to reality the show contains.

“K-Ville” has its heart in the right place as a dramatic show that could bring some much-needed publicity to post-Katrina New Orleans. The city still needs all the help it can get. It’s just too bad the show gets caught up in its setting to the detriment of acting, pacing, plot and character development.

The first five minutes of the show – which draw heavily on flashbacks set on an elevated portion of the interstate after Katrina – was the hour’s most compelling. I’m not sure any amount of make-believe drama could top the reality of what happened in New Orleans two years ago.

I’m afraid Katrina, the impetus for the show, will actually be its downfall.

It’s really a shame the show won’t make it past the first six episodes. According to accounts on Internet message boards, the cast and crew of “K-Ville” are extremely professional and welcoming to local extras on the set.

We need their business.

Uniforms at Ponchatoula High

The Daily Star was barraged by messages Wednesday from current and former Ponchatoula High School students regarding the enforcement of the dress code since the beginning of classes this school year.

You can read about the issue here.

Who's overreacting – School administrators or students?

Senator Vitter - Sins of the Past, Repercussions in the Present

By now even people in China know about U.S. Sen. David Vitter's (R-La.) admission to doing business with D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey.

Vitter's number showed up in Palfrey's phone records, which were posted to the Internet in advance of other possible reports. Palfrey's lawyer said the information had possibly been pirated, and the prostitution-ring leader wanted to offer the truth.

Public corrpution blog TPMmuckraker.com says that Hustler magazine and publisher Larry Flynt's investigation into the matter prompted Vitter's confession and apology to the Associated Press.

Meanwhile, CBS news is praising Internet blogs for calling Vitter, a "family values Republican," to task for his "criminal" actions. Mainstream news outlets, they say, are downplaying the story and steering clear of commentary.

Also, BayouBuzz wonders if this newest scandal could have an effect on Bobby Jindal's bid for Louisiana governor. Jindal is in many ways Vitter's protege, the blog says.

And then there's the link between Vitter and Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani. (Vitter is the Giuliani campaign's regional campaign chairman for the South.)

Does a man who once said the issue of gay marriage was more important than any other, have any credibility when it comes to supporting any law that would preserve the "sanctity" of marriage?

Should Vitter suffer any political repercussions for his illegal actions?

Should he resign?

Lessons in a jail cell

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton is turning over a new leaf during her time in prison.

Her world's so messed up that she's taken to answering her fan mail personally.

Hilton should certainly cling to whatever fan base she has left after being sent back to jail for violating her probation – twice. Of course, Hilton was arrested Feb. 27 for driving with a suspended license less than a year after being initially arrested and convicted of driving under the influence.

Her case, silly as it may seem, has brought important issues to the forefront – how wealth and class functions within the justice system, if mental anguish should be cause to release low-risk prisoners and – most important of all – why is Hilton famous, exactly?

I have to say that I did feel sorry for Hilton after her June 7 release. She turned herself in only three days earlier thinking she was going to serve 23 days in an albeit "nice" prison cell. After less than a day of house arrest, she was back in jail – this time for the full 45-day sentence.

It's not that I have a problem with Hilton serving her full sentence. DUI is an extremely serious offense no matter who you are. Not to mention, her "mental condition" excuse for getting out of jail was completely bogus.

But the fact remains that Hilton didn't exactly let herself out of jail. I would hope the powers that render justice in this country would be better at making up their minds. Even criminals should have the right not to be jerked around by a sheriff and judge for political gain.

And there's no mistaking that public opinion also helped put Hilton back in the slammer. But since when does what the public think of a person have anything to do with his or her punishment for a crime? If this were the 13th century I'd imagine a mob with burning sticks would show up at Hilton's castle and physically put her in the town dungeon. That's a scary prospect.

So while Paris reconnects with her fans, "finds God" and makes plans to become the next Angelina Jolie, let's at least take some real lessons away from her ordeal. They're there if you can get behind the paparazzi's glare.

Beweare promgoers: Watch your front

Ah, prom season. Most people can’t help but get all nostalgic thinking about gowns, limo rides, dancing and.... cleavage?!

For a group of students at L.W. Higgins High School in Jefferson Parish, all they’ll remember about that fateful night is that they might not have put their best chests forward on Saturday.

A teacher denied admission to about 50 girls who she thought were wearing overly revealing gowns. Twenty-five of the girls altered their dresses and were let in; the other half missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Luckily, with age one learns that prom means very little in the grand scheme of things. It’s just a shame the affected students don’t realize this yet. If they did, it’d be a lot easier for them to get over how annoying some teachers can be.

Some of the parents are actually threatening to sue the public school system over the issue. They’d be wasting their time. In case after court case, a school system’s authority to govern appropriate dress trumps the judgment of parents.

Furthermore, Jefferson Parish’s student dress code prohibits clothing that exposes the student’s back, chest or midriff. That sounds vague to me, but school officials did say they publicized the rule in classrooms before the event.

They publicized it so well, in fact, that at least one student brought in a picture of her dress to an administrator and was given the OK. And, you guessed it, that same student was denied entrance into the prom.

According to the student dress code posted online for Tangipahoa Parish Schools, the written policy does not include a section on special event attire. If the regular daytime school uniform policy were to be followed, dresses themselves wouldn’t even be allowed. Should the school board have a separate special occasion school function dress code?

So it begs the question: Exactly what is appropriate to wear to prom these days? From the television news reports I saw, none of the Higgins girls were wearing anything out of the ordinary. Yes, some of the dresses were low-cut or strapless. But nowadays, that’s pretty much all the department stores sell at prom time. From the hype generated, I was sure I was going to see some kind of see-through stripperwear.

What constitutes a non-bared chest? Are we talking turtleneck, scoop neck, v-neck? It’s all very confusing. And maybe the most confusing of all is why a principal or other administrator wasn’t involved in the decision-making.

Jefferson Parish School officials now say the best bet is to bring the dress to school and model it for an administrator beforehand. If I had to go through all that, I’d be more happy doing my own thing on prom night.

The prom is just one night among 12 long years of uniform-wearing and dress code-abiding. To nitpick about necklines seems a little absurd.

Meanwhile, the parents of the Higgins girls are lobbying for at least one fair goal – the reimbursement of their children’s $100-a-couple prom tickets.

Your choice for superintendent

Which of the following five candidates is your choice for school superintendent?

Linda Monteleone Abels
Mark Kolwe
Charles S. Michel, Ph.D.
Carol T. Smith
Elizabeth Duran Swinford, Ed.D.

To learn about the candidates, click here.

'Idol' less about singing, more about sideshow

After experiencing five seasons of “American Idol,” singing tends to take a back seat to the cultural spectacle of this most ubiquitous of ubiquitous television shows.

What will I remember about Tuesday night’s episode? It won’t be Lakisha Jones’ impeccable vocal control. It won’t be Melinda Doolittle’s understated but powerful vocal style.

But I will remember the preteen girl in the audience who cried for the two-hour duration of the show. (I’m betting she cried during Sanjaya Malakar’s performance because she liked it, but one can never be sure.)

And I’ll remember how Blake Lewis’ “beatboxing” screwed up the perfectly respectable 1960s hit “Time of the Season.” Oh, and let’s not forget the premiere of Haley Scarnato’s legs thanks to her brown short-shorts.

After all, we’re talking about the season that gave us Antonella Barba, the arrogantly bad singer from New Jersey best known for her revealing “personal” photos on the Internet. And we’re only just boiling it down to the top 10.

It’s getting harder and harder for an “Idol” purist like me to fully embrace the show, but I have to admit, it’s hard to look away. I have favorites just like everyone else, but I actually listen to the performances and vote based on vocal ability. If someone has a bad night, I won’t vote for him or her. I tend not to factor in previous performances and cutesy gimmicks. (“Beatboxing” and “impersonating Justin Timberlake” are both in that category). I guess I’m the Simon Cowell of phone voting.

I performed in choirs, had voice lessons and actually got up and sang solo in front of packed gymnasiums in my lifetime, so I tend to think I can make informed opinions about the quality of “American Idol” vocals. Just the fact that oh-so-cool rocker chick Gina Glocksen is still in the competition tells me that America doesn’t share my view.

Over and over, Cowell has reminded us that this is a “singing competition.” In fact, I’ve heard those two words probably more this season than in any other. It’s a shame that we need to be reminded.

And it’s also interesting that the further the show drifts away from its stated purpose, the more respected it’s becoming. The short,informative documentary about the British musical invasion of the 1960s, the night’s theme, actually made me think “Idol” is a cultured, non-corny program. Really, those vignettes just show off host Ryan Seacrest’s narrating prowess.

But credibility doesn’t seem to be an issue for “Idol,” which consistently draws in top ratings each week. Yet there are a few other reasons people might just keep believing.

Two of them are Doolittle and Jones. While they don’t have the judges’ standard “uniqueness,” they do have judge Randy Jackson’s “Yo Factor.” These two are straight up talented singers. They don’t miss notes. They’re never “pitchy.” They just make it look all too easy. Jordin Sparks is up there, too.

The only guy I’m even remotely impressed with is Chris Sligh (the Jack Osbourne look-alike). He takes real risks with his song choices, and he’s got a voice that sounds unlike almost anything I’ve heard on the show before. Phil Stacey is in a distant second.

And even if you can’t find a thing to like in this year’s crop of “Idol” hopefuls, at least tune in to see what gay joke Cowell will hurl at Seacrest each night. And, don’t forget, you’ll definitely want to see what Malakar’s done to his hair.