Many Americans take shopping down to wire

That most-asked holiday question — “Have you finished your Christmas shopping?” — is starting to wear on my nerves.

And apparently I’m not alone in my unfinished business.

According to Consumer Reports magazine, 30 percent of Americans won’t finish their holiday shopping until the evening of Dec. 24. Better yet, one third of Americans hadn’t even begun their gift-buying until Dec. 10.

Regifting, the term Jerry Seinfeld coined for giving a previously-gotten gift to an unsuspecting friend or family member, is also an attractive option for late shoppers. According to the poll, 13 percent of consumers are planning to “regift” at least one item.

The biggest problem with regifting is the lack of originality. But if I’ve learned anything from HGTV’s “Cash in the Attic” and “Design Remix,” it’s that we have so much stuff nowadays, it’s entirely possible to “go shopping” in one’s own home.

I think what all this crucial data is saying is that we’re caring less and less for the commercial trappings of Christmas. Many people I’ve talked to have opted for simple get-togethers sans presents this year. Maybe advertising blitzes and long lines have killed the true meaning behind giving gifts. And fancy “things” can only make one happy for so long.

I, on the other hand, take gifts and cash in all forms, even credit cards. What some people might see as an irrelevant gift I see as a listing on Ebay.com.

Animals in the news:

What did your pet get for Christmas? (Don’t say it aloud. Fluffy might hear you.)

Fifty two percent of pet owners are buying toys, treats and clothing for their pets this year.

I’m crazy-as-charged, and I don’t even own a dog. I spent over $20 on a package of spa treatments for one of my friend’s dogs, which coincidentally has a larger wardrobe than I do.

I can’t help that it’s a lot easier to shop for a non-human. If you think an animal will like something, they probably will. They seem to genuinely appreciate it, unlike some people.

Maybe animals don’t know about the birth of Jesus, but all dogs go to heaven, right?

Speaking of Fido:

Britney Spears has been named World’s Worst Celebrity Dog Owner in an online poll of readers of Hollywood Dog and New York Dog magazines.

How did Spears win this coveted award? She got rid of her three Chihuahuas because of her two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

Spears’ soon-to-be ex-husband, Kevin Federline, said the house was too hectic, and the dogs were re-homed with friends of the couple.

Sympathetic to animal rescue, I always tend to get frustrated when people don’t want to at least try to work with their animals when a new baby comes into the picture.

I’m not sure why Spears couldn’t just hire a dog nanny or maybe give the pooches a wing in her mansion. Seems like a workable solution to me.

But Britney deserves a break on this one, especially when Paris Hilton’s running around buying illegal tropical rain forest inhabitants to keep in her menagerie, then getting bitten by them.

Onstage at the 2007 Grammy Awards:

You. Ever since Time Magazine named all of us their “person of the year,” “we” have ever-increasing chances to offer our personalized entertainment and news content to the world.

The latest chance comes from Spears’ ex-boyfriend, Justin Timberlake. He’s looking for someone to sing with him at the Grammy Awards to be held in Los Angeles on Feb. 11.

Instead of going to any number of his diva contemporaries, he wants YOU to upload a 60-second video clip of yourself singing one of nine selected Grammy-winning songs. Twelve contestants will be chosen from the audition videos, and an “American Idol”-like competition will ensue, with people voting on who they want to see on the Grammy stage. Three finalists will be flown to the Grammys, and the winner will be announced during the broadcast and hop onstage to sing.

Since when did award shows become reality TV?

To enter (or have fun watching people make fools of themselves), go to www.music.yahoo.com/mygrammymoment.

Another roundup – Brad Pitt; Mute Math; Is it really 'Idol' time again?

Money ‘Pitt’ — Brad Pitt showed up in New Orleans last week. Usually this means he’s pushing some pie-in-the-sky do-gooder scheme, like “green building.” (I’m still not sure what that was all about.)

But this time Pitt was actually doing good — he was filming a movie called “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” which is coincidentally the biggest-budget film ever to be shot in the Crescent City.

I agree with my readers about celebrities like Pitt and Sean Penn “acting” like they’re humanitarians when they’re really out to get publicity. But I’ll give him more credit for his chosen career. I hope he makes tons of movies in Louisiana. The more movie industry business New Orleans gets, the better. That boost to the economy will help local people more than any eco-friendly house ever could.

And Brad, I hope you didn’t forget to tip well at those nightspots you were spotted at. Oh, and throw in some of Angie’s money, too.

Look for “Benjamin Button” in 2008.

‘Muted’ mayhem – Now that I’ve gotten some great suggestions on local country artists, I’d like to throw a musical suggestion back at you: Mute Math.

The name actually has a deep, spiritual meaning that I won’t get into, but these guys are one of the best bands coming out of southern Louisiana right now. I wasn’t surprised when they popped up on ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live” as the musical guest Friday night. After playing at New Orleans’ Voodoo Music Festival and Tennessee’s Bonaroo Festival earlier this year, they’re on the cusp of mainstream popularity.

Here’s how I describe their sound: Reggae-ish Sting meets electronica meets experimental rock. And they’re one progressive act you don’t have to worry about your kids getting into. They’re actually veterans of the Christian music industry looking to deliver a positive message without sacrificing audience numbers.

Plus, they’re the only band I can think of that can make smashing fluorescent lights in a fit of rock star rage with the neck of a keytar seem hardcore. In fact, they’re the only band I can think of that still uses a keytar.
Check them out: www. myspace.com/mutemath.

Time’s flying by – I’m not a huge movie-watcher, but over the weekend I rented “American Dreamz,” starring Hugh Grant and Mandy Moore. It’s actually a quite disturbing film. It makes spoofing “American Idol” a satirical high art.

But what’s even more disturbing is the image of Simon Cowell on my television telling me that another season of “American Idol” is coming soon.

Is it really that time again?

But who am I kidding? “American Idol” has become like a season in my family. It’s the one just after Christmas and right before Carnival.

And for you Soul Patrollers: Taylor Hicks’ full-length album comes out on Dec. 12.

The Great Smokeout – Also coming soon: Enforcement of the Louisiana Smoke-Free Air Act. Don’t expect to smoke a cigarette in a restaurant anytime soon, in Louisiana at least.

Southeastern Louisiana University is looking to reinforce its “No Smoking” areas, which were set up in 2003 and largely ignored by a student body that smokes like a bunch of mostly-20-something chimneys.

The courtyard in front of D Vickers is one of the worst offenders as far as second-hand smoke. I’m not too sure how SLU hopes to enforce the areas, especially when second-hand smoke is a moving hazard in most cases (students have mastered walking and smoking at the same time).

The best I can say is good luck to law enforcement in these trying times for tobacco users in this state of excess.

Roundup of local, national pop culture hits and misses

LSU’s No. 21 — Even though Louisiana State University didn’t even crack U.S. News and World Report’s 2007 best colleges list, the school is still pretty “high” up on a list that really counts: CollegeHumor.com’s 2006-2007 Power Rankings.

The male chauvinists over at College Humor, with the help of similar-minded students that make up the site’s user base, set out to “scientifically” find the best schools where you can “have the maximum amount of fun while putting forth the least amount of effort.”

They asked all the tough questions: Are free condoms available on campus? (yes) What time do the bars close? (2 a.m.) How many students are interested in drugs? (To get this score, they used information provided by students on their own personal Facebook profiles.)

I admit, I’m a Southeastern girl through and through. And I know LSU has a reputation as a “party school.” Anyone who doubts that should find the Advocate article in which students feebly defended their alma mater in the face of the U.S. News and World Report omission. The best many could come up with was, “But we have a good football team!”

Maybe it’s me, but if I went to LSU I’d be more than a little disturbed about the disparity between these two lists. Then again, SLU made neither.

Just chalk it up to another case of Louisiana being first (or close to it) in everything bad. But wait, since when is a school having an all-male vocal group a bad thing?

•••

Nashville South — I’m becoming thoroughly convinced that Tangipahoa Parish is Nashville South. In my time at The Daily Star, I’ve interviewed and written about four country musicians or bands directing their own careers out of this parish. And I’ve only had this job since late June.

All of them have CDs, mostly on independent labels. They travel back and forth to Nashville all the time, i.e., Kayla LoCicero, and Chris Gray, who is in the middle of work on his third album there now. They work with award-winning songwriters. They travel all over the Southeast and even the world (The Honky Tonk Disciples are actually going on tour in Belgium soon).

And let’s not forget about Lindsey Cardinale, Ponchatoula’s other claim to fame. The “American Idol” finalist is apparently working on more songs in Nashville. Sure, she’s name-dropping Country Music Association vocalist of the year Ms. Carrie Underwood on her MySpace blog (they were roommates and kindred spirits during their “Idol” season), but she’s a star.

I’m interested to find out about any other country music talent in Hammond and the surrounding areas (and Todd O’Neil is on my list). Any suggestions?

•••

“The Sweet Escape” ... to Pop Music Hell — In national music news, Gwen Stefani is set to release her second solo album, “The Sweet Escape” on Dec. 5.

I’m only mentioning this because I am such a huge fan of Stefani, yet I am so disturbed about her artistic direction. If you (or your kids) are considering buying into Stefani’s brand, please do yourself a favor and go here.

Here’s the unfortunate gist. Current single “Wind it Up,” a strange conglomeration of hip-hop beats and yodeling from “The Sound of Music,” is actually one of the best songs on the CD.

Stefani’s first CD, “Love, Angel, Music, Baby” was groundbreaking. Just listening to current hits by Nelly Furtado and Fergie attests to the massive copycatting going on. But I think the experiment has run its course.

•••

Look at me! — OK, I couldn’t resist. Apparently Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are fast becoming BFFs. And when you run with Hilton, underwear is optional.

I suppose I don’t have to actually write what the paparazzi have pictures of this time. Let’s put it this way — one far-from-ladylike party momma plus one low-to-the-ground vehicle plus one bad camera angle equals... yep, you thought right.

So much for my prediction of a slightly more modest comeback.

If you’re interested: www.perezhilton.com.

In Britney's world, divorce signals maturity

Nov. 7 was a glorious day.

Not only was it a perfect day to go out and exercise our right to vote in the mid-term elections, it was also my birthday.

But it wasn’t my own personal “Best Day Ever” until election-day coverage broke into entertainment news.

Britney Spears had finally come to her senses. She was shipping Fed-Ex out.

I can’t say it was surprising that Spears decided to divorce her wannabe rapper husband of two years, Kevin Federline. There were just too many situations working against these two – the huge gap between Spears’ and Federline’s bank accounts; his two out-of-wedlock children with a previous girlfriend; his whiny and cocky ‘respect-me-because-I’m-a-serious-rapper’ attitude.
The entire world could see exactly what K-Fed really was, including Spears’ mother, according to some reports. As they say, love is blind.

Alissa, a local commenter on The Daily Star’s blog, pointed out that she’s known a few ‘Fed-Exes’ in her time. Even if they weren’t former backup dancers, they still fit the bill.

“I knew a few fellas back in my day who were the epitome of FedEx,” she said. “And then I grew up.”

After more than two years of being in the spotlight for events unrelated to her musical career – the 55-hour annulled Vegas wedding, the baby-riding-on-the-lap-while-driving incident and the doomed “Dateline” interview, just to name a few – Spears is finally realizing that she must make a career comeback to regain her credibility. The K-Fed disaster was just a final learning experience.

Spears, at 24, is finally all grown up.

It sounds strange for me to say that about a woman with two sons. But Spears’ situation is a little different – she’s been famous worldwide since she was 16 years old.

She, just like many child stars, simply hasn’t had the time to grow up.

I actually find Spears’ situation a lot like pop star Madonna’s, who, of course, shared that infamous kiss with Spears on the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards. That act was a lot more symbolic than either Spears or Madonna realized.

In 1995 Madonna announced to the world in an interview that she wanted to be a mother. Quickly after that, she gave birth to a daughter, Lourdes. The girl’s father is Carlos Leon, a personal trainer. Madonna and Leon were never rumored to be much more than a dating couple, and they would never be more than that.

Madonna simply wanted a child, and paternity never seemed to be a big concern. The world wasn’t shocked – consider the source. This was Madonna’s attempt at finding normality within a very public and nontraditional lifestyle.

Likewise, Spears, from the time she announced her engagement to Federline, proclaimed that she always wanted to be “a young mother.” And nothing was going to stop her from having what she thought was going to grant her a normal, adult life – a baby.

I guess I have to give props to Spears for marrying Federline beforehand, but she must not have thought about the ramifications of making Federline a dad for the third, then fourth, time.

I’m not sure if Spears could differentiate between wanting a new car and wanting a baby. In her world, if she wanted it, she got it. Only after putting up with a few harsh realities after the birth of Sean Preston was she finally able to snap out of dreamland. And the same happened with Federline – who was said to be growing increasingly violent during their fights about his flirting, among other things.

It is a shame that the children have to be involved in Spears’ highly public divorce. One positive thing is that they are too young to truly know what is happening.

But if not for the kids, I’m not sure we’d have the Spears we have today – confident, attractive and ready to reinvent herself. I have no reason to believe, even with the baby blunders, that Spears doesn’t love her sons with all her heart.

I’m not a huge fan of Spears’ music, but I know legions of her fans are rooting for a comeback. Unlike a few of this column’s commenters, I think her new image will err on the modest side. With acts like Fergie, I’m not sure even Spears – formerly the top saleswoman of sex – can outdo what’s on the popular music landscape right now.

She’ll just need to do some serious reinventing – something her pal Madonna knows a lot about.

Spears’ new CD is due in early 2007.

Blogging Britney

As you all know by now, our hometown girl extraordinaire, Britney Spears, has filed for divorce from her husband of just over two years, Kevin Federline.

And sources as credible as People magazine say Spears visited in Kentwood earlier this week.

This plot has more twists and turns than a game of Chutes and Ladders, with Federline apparently plotting to sell a sex tape of he and Spears in an attempt to weasel out of the pair's supposed iron-clad prenuptial agreement. (Boy must he feel dumb for agreeing to sign that.)

And to top it all off, Spears seems to be staging a comeback.

Will this somewhat-postive (in my opinion) Britney news turn out to be too good to be true? What do you think of her comeback? Can she regain her superstar status? Does Britney, like Times Picayune columnist Chris Rose said in his column last week, put the "ho" back in Tangipahoa?

Tak, discuss, mingle.

Media's messages on body image not hard to decipher

Monday night found me watching the impossibly toned Jennifer Nettles hop around the stage on the Country Music Association Awards feeling just a little inadequate. Nettles is the lead singer of country pop duo Sugarland. If I remember correctly, Sugarland used to be a trio. Suddenly I started to wonder what happened to the group’s plain-looking, not-so-toned, short-haired female guitarist.

Maybe she faded into obscurity in light of the fact that Nettles was not only the group’s lead singer, but for all intents and purposes, the entire band. If you watch the band’s video for “Just Might (Make Me Believe)” it’s tough to tell if there are any members other than Nettles. What can I say? The girl can sing… and her face can sell records.

It’s true that plain-looking people tend to fade into the background. And lately television hasn’t been shy in pointing out that sad fact of biology.

On Friday, “20/20’s” John Stossel set out to uncover what we all already knew about “Privilege in America.” He discussed nepotism and unfair treatment of poor vs. wealthy citizens. He even did some great hidden-camera “investigations” in which a celebrity look-alike sailed to the front of the line in a busy coffee shop just to gauge the reactions. (What were people going to say — oh, yes, we love being cut in front of by Paris Hilton?)

The most harsh experiment came when he took two young women — one considered attractive and one considered plain — and put them head-to-head in a competition for tips at a sports bar and grill. The attractive waitress came back with about $50 more in tips than the other. Another experiment used the same premise and showed that people are more willing to help beautiful people if they drop a pile of books in the street.

Stossel really got me thinking about the predicament we find ourselves in with regard to body image. It doesn’t take Tyra Banks or Vanessa Manillo dressing up as overweight “Ugly Betties” to tell me that this discrimination really does occur (both of which actually happened, by the way).

Academics and psychiatrists are railing against the “rail” thin models filling fashion magazines. French officials recently outlawed anorexic models walking the catwalk in fashion shows. But none of that changes the fact that we are biologically wired to show favor toward beauty. That’s the case according to anthropologist Helen Fisher, who said that beauty appeals to a primal mechanism. Beauty simply equals good genes in our brains. We’re attracted to beauty, and we just can’t help it. We also think beautiful people are smart, hard working and interesting. Anyone who has seen the “Anna Nicole” show knows, mentally, that’s not true.

But the good thing, Stossel said, is that we are now able to help ourselves in the race to be beautiful. “Extreme Makeover” started the whole plastic surgery craze, but it was canceled last week. Luckily you’re never far from a doctor willing to fix your imperfections for the right price.

And it seems like we never make much progress on our want to accept all body types. A typical teen magazine might feature one or two models who happen to be a size 10 instead of a size eight, and that is supposed to suffice for progress. We watch “Celebrity Fit Club” and try to be happy because a has-been celebrity has dropped two pounds. We make front-page news out of an overweight lingerie model strutting down the runway but continue to care about the exploits of such pillars of the community as Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell.

I really don’t see this pattern changing, at least not until America Ferrera of ABC’s “Ugly Betty” can carry a blockbuster film and make millions. That would mean that Angelina Jolie, Reese Witherspoon, Salma Hayek and Pamela Anderson would have to die in a horrific accident.

And everyone knows beautiful people wear their seat belts, right?

The magic of negative publicity

Have you ever been to a movie or listened to a song just because you wanted to find out for yourself what made it so “controversial?”

I’m sorry to admit that that’s pretty much the reason I recognize a few of rapper Eminem’s songs.

New York Times writer David M. Halbfinger recently pointed out a trend in Hollywood: the more negative publicity something gets, the more popular it’s going to be.

Case in point: Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ.” If you’re like me and watch way too much cable news, you noticed that every program discussed this movie for what seemed like the entirety of 2004. Never mind that the film was released near Good Friday or that this nation’s majority Christian movie-going public was going to turn out for the film anyway.

“The Passion” was a whirlwind, dominating force in popular culture because someone decided it was anti-Semitic. That touched off a firestorm of controversy that brought out the non-Christian crowd to a foreign language film about a man they might not even believe in.

In that case, curiosity got the dollar.

Today we’re dealing with the ever-popular country group The Dixie Chicks, who are starring in an upcoming documentary called “Shut Up and Sing.” Major TV networks NBC and the CW have refused to air commercials for the film, citing the fact that it attacks President Bush at a time when Bush couldn’t be expected to buy response ads. For them it is an issue of fairness. (As you may recall, Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines said she was ashamed the president was from her home state of Texas at one of their concerts a few years ago in Britain, triggering quite a few American country radio stations to yank the Chicks’ music off their playlists.)

For the cable news networks, the Dixie Chicks debacle has become an issue of free speech. Free speech is always a timely topic. Only, what the news networks fail to understand is that the regulated airwaves are not exactly public streets. They have the right to refuse advertisements, just like you or I have the right to boycott The Dixie Chicks. It pretty much works both ways.

The Chicks have been featured nightly on TV to discuss their supposed “blacklisting.”

I think the Chicks have the mentality of a contestant who has just opened the $1 million case on “Deal or No Deal.” They know they’ll never get their old audience (and popularity) back, so they’re taking stupid chances and hoping against hope that somehow their anti-Bush stance will win them something greater. Personally, I think they’ve got a small amount in their case. All they seem to have now are fans who like them because of their political stance, not their music. It’s tough to disconnect their political leanings from their music these days because they’re just so vocal about it.

Maybe they should take their own advice. It’s in the title of the documentary, after all.

Yet if they did that, would anyone actually go and see their film? I don’t think so.

This tactic, mostly created by public relations machines, get “controversial” pieces free publicity. That can almost never be a bad thing. You know how the old saying goes.

But Habfinger says the trend is actually slowing down.

Take the documentary “Jesus Camp,” which comes out this summer. It purports to be a shocking look into the world of evangelical Christianity. In particular, it follows a group of church leaders who claim they are training soldiers in “God’s Army.”

Magnolia Pictures President Eamonn Bowles actually said the religious backlash against the film was not as strong as he would have liked it to be. That’s right, a movie maker is upset because one of his films just wasn’t disliked enough.

And because of that, the movie is not a household name. There’s no buzz surrounding it. There’s no compelling news story associated with it. There’s no sense of conflict. There are no picketers or protests. Nobody cares.

And so another documentary — most likely a biased mockery of real filmmaking a la “Fahrenheit 9/11” — gets passed over in the publicity game. It’s not that religious groups don’t disagree with the message, it’s that they now know that ignoring it is a better way to make it go away than meeting it head-on.

It’s a nightmare scenario for film promoters hoping to manipulate the public and make a quick buck off a genre that traditionally generates very little revenue.

Besides, if this marketing scheme is losing favor with films, it’s only gaining favor with celebrities. Just look at Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears. I’ll be first in line at the “Bring the pre-K-Fed Britney Back” rally.

Reality TV equals motivation in 'cardio theater'

There’s definitely something about watching a plastic surgeon do his or her work that makes you want to keep going on the treadmill.

Lately I’ve been hitting the gym pretty hard, and wherever there’s stationary bikes and elliptical machines there’s bound to be televisions these days. It’s called the “cardio theater.”

The gym at Southeastern, the Pennington Student Activity Center, has a cardio theater of about 12 television sets tuned to the old standbys — CBS, NBC, ABC, etc.

Gymgoers bring in their headphones and plug into a tuner that allows them to switch between audio feeds from the TVs, though the equipment at this particular gym is in need of repair.

One’s enjoyment of television, I’ve found, is directly proportional to the size and comfort of the couch one is lounging on to view it, most of the time. The tastiness of the accompanying snack or beverage seems to help, too.

It becomes a bit harder to enjoy, or even pay attention, to television when your heart rate is 170 and you’re dripping in sweat.

Luckily, someone at the gym had the foresight to park one of the TVs on E! Entertainment television. Because as much perkiness as Katie Couric brings to the “CBS Evening News,” hearing about suicide bombs and earthquakes doesn’t help a person’s drive to exercise.

On E!’s “Dr. 90210,” Dr. Robert Rey and his band of surgeons slice and dice lots of young women from Beverly Hills, Calif.

It’s a straight-forward reality show, minus the graphic plastic surgery footage. Viewers even follow Rey into his private life (on one recent episode Rey’s wife laments that their new house is — get this — too big). On another, Rey goes to Venezuela to try to figure out why the women there are so beautiful. Rey puts up with perfectly beautiful exotic dancers who apparently need bodily improvements in order to work. I pity them and turn up the resistance on my machine.

I’m more of a believable candidate for plastic surgery than 75 percent of Rey’s patients, but I like to change my body the old-fashioned way. It’s cheaper and a whole lot less painful.

It’s interesting to marvel at the shallow thought processes at work on the show, though. And watching someone get lipo-suctioned is a great motivator, for me at least.

But E!’s depictions of geniuses at work don’t stop there. “The Girls Next Door” centers on the charmed lives of “Playboy” founder Hugh Hefner’s three girlfriends.

They basically play with their dogs, lounge by the pool and go on trips to Las Vegas every now and then.

One of Hefner’s girlfriends, Holly Madison, seems to have a bit of a business venture going on designing Playboy logo jewelry and clothing.

Bridget Marquardt, another girlfriend, actually has a bachelor of arts in public relations, a master’s in communication and is working on another master’s in broadcast journalism. But when she opens her mouth, she sounds like she’s in the eighth grade.

I guess I’m fascinated with the fact that power and money can make a normal-looking 80-year-old man attractive to 25-year-old women.

Or maybe it’s the fact that Hefner’s harem treats the “girlfriend” title more as a job, with other girlfriends leaving to pursue acting or modeling careers and asking another to be “main” girlfriend (that title belongs to Madison presently).

Either way, the combination of plastic surgery, fitness-crazed playmates and less-than-stellar IQs makes me feel really good about myself.

I’m not famous, skinny or rich, but I don’t need to be to be happy. E!’s mindless shows have shown me that, in a sick and twisted kind of way.

And if television can’t do that, what can it do?

Online gamblers wagering on the stars

For the last couple days I’ve been receiving promotional e-mails from online betting Web sites.

No, I don’t know the odds that the Saints will beat the Eagles this weekend. Nor did they offer tips to improve my poker game (not that I had one to begin with).

Instead, I learned that most BetUS.com users think Shanna Moakler would win in a cat fight with Paris Hilton. Moakler, a former contestant on “Dancing With the Stars,” is favored by 67 percent of voters over hotel heiress Hilton’s 33 percent.

The question arose after Moakler and Hilton both filed police reports claiming the other had physically assaulted them during a recent jaunt at Los Angeles nightclub Hyde Lounge.

According to the Associated Press, Moakler’s publicist said she was attacked by Hilton’s ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos, who bent her wrists, poured a drink on her and shoved her down some stairs.

Sounds like a fun time.

Hilton had been romantically linked to Moakler’s ex-husband, Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker.

“Celebrity feuds are always interesting to poll, especially when they are involving two models/actresses,” stated BetUS.com spokesman Christopher Bennett. “I’m surprised that Paris had so many votes. Shanna is a mother of three; obviously she knows how to dish out punishment.”

Obviously, a bet placed on either flaky publicity junkie would never pay off. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a real-life Celebrity Death Match between these two anytime soon.

But people are betting on other entertainment-related news matters, such as who will win this season of “Dancing With the Stars” (Mario Lopez’s odds are currently 1 to 9) and which case will win the “Lucky Case Game” on Thursday’s “Deal or No Deal” (statistically those odds are the same for each of the six cases).

Intertops.com is even featuring betting on whether “American Idol” number six will be male or female. The show doesn’t even begin airing until January 2007.

My father’s big hobby is horse racing, so I know a little bit about betting myself. But you don’t have to know much to figure out that betting on the result of a show that hasn’t even started yet is pretty dumb.

Of course, you can always bet on sports. There’s everything from hockey to cricket, in fact. But you can also bet on the careers of sports stars themselves.

The hot topic back in April was the future of NFL football star and admitted marijuana user Ricky Williams’ career. Some options offered by BetUS.com were: Enters a Rehabilitation Center: 2 to 1; Joins World Football League playing for Amsterdam: 3 to 1; He and T.O. start an independent Pro Football League: 20 to 1; Becomes an odds consultant for BetUS.com: 4 to 1; Becomes the abbot of a monastery: 100 to 1.

Two of BetUS.com’s open wagers focus on Angelina and Brad: Will they get married by the end of the year? And, which country will they adopt from next?

Of course, all bets placed after the answer is public knowledge are null and void, but there’s apparently no tabloid rumor disclaimer.

Is “public knowledge” when it comes from the mouth of a star’s publicist, the author of magazine article or from the star himself?

Online gambling has erupted into a large but controversial industry during the past few years, with many of the Web sites operating out of foreign countries to try to avoid the differing gambling laws in each of the 50 states. But their publicity machines never stop turning.

The recent addition of video bingo in Tangipahoa Parish seems tame compared to this form of gambling, where life decisions are wagered on.

Maybe I should start an online gambling Web site, too. You, the readers, will be able to bet on how many times a year I’ll mention Britney Spears in my columns, or maybe what color shirt I decide to wear on Wednesdays.

Excuse me while I open a Swiss bank account...

'Must-see TV' back on NBC this fall

NBC is bringing back its Thursday night “Must-See TV Lineup,” but the shows are a far cry from the traditional late ‘90s fare.

Back then there was “Friends,” “Will and Grace,” and “Frasier.” All were smart, sassy Emmy-winning sitcoms that stuck to the traditional formula but improved upon it exponentially. With the help of syndication, I have probably seen each and every episode of those three shows. They broke new ground, and in some ways even changed society, especially “Will and Grace,” the story of a straight-girl-gay-guy friendship.

The NBC Thursday night prime time block stopped being so “must-see” right around the time someone thought “Friends” spin-off “Joey” would be a good idea. “Friends’” last episode ran on May 6, 2004. “Joey,” starring Matt LeBlanc, began its run soon after, but it was nothing more than a shadow of “Friends.” Ratings for the night plummeted.

But NBC is changing that with its current lineup, which includes comedies “My Name is Earl” and “The Office,” game show “Deal or No Deal” and the been-on-air-forever drama “ER.”

The two comedies, “Earl” and “The Office,” are special because they push the boundaries of the sitcom. Where the previous line-up improved upon the established formula, these shows turn the formula itself on its head. I would think they aren’t even classified as sitcoms as there is no studio audience and different production values. And instead of the relatively normal surroundings of New York City or Seattle, both shows are based in fictional locations. With all the crazy stuff that happens, suspension of disbelief is a necessity.

“Earl” is the twisted story of a mustached lowlife named Earl Hickey, played by Jason Lee. Earl develops a belief in karma after surviving being hit by a car and rediscovering a lottery ticket worth $100,000 soon after. The show is all about Earl and his “list” of wrongdoings he intends to repay. Since Earl is a former petty criminal, the payback situations are endless.

Earl’s world is a weird landscape of shady, unique characters — one doofus brother, a classless ex-wife, a one-eyed mailman and a hooker who works only in the daytime. And there’s a killer soundtrack.

“Earl” is part situation comedy and part goofy Ben Stiller movie, which makes it one of the greatest things on network TV.

Meanwhile, “The Office” uses the techniques of reality television to a hilarious result. Based on a British show of the same name, it is filmed as a mockumentary with no background music or laugh track. There’s an improvisational feel to the show, which is helmed by “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” alum Steve Carrel. Carrel’s character, Michael, is an awkward, unsocialized supervisor who always seems to mess up sensitive situations. Dwight is his nerdy-but-thinks-he’s-cool suck up assistant manager. The rest of the cast watches their antics in embarrassed horror and offer commentary via one-on-one interviews that remind me of “Big Brother.”

But there’s also a serious side to “The Office” with the romance between Jim and Pam. Thankfully, though, the series doesn’t delve into drama very often.

And then there’s “Deal” with host Howie Mandel. I wrote a column completely dedicated to the show a few months ago. I hate that I love this show. There’s no other word to describe it other than “addictive.” If you haven’t seen it, tune in to NBC at 8 p.m. Monday, Thursday or Friday. Even if you’re not a gambler, the adrenaline rush is hard to turn away from.

Finally, “ER” has been on the air since 1994. I used to be a religious viewer of the medical drama (to me it will always be better than “Grey’s Anatomy”), and thanks to the lead-ins, I’m becoming interested in it again.

All of these shows, too, besides the recently started “Deal,” have won Emmys. “Earl” and “The Office” have been on less than four years. That’s got to mean something.

Bloggers react to pope's 'insults'

There’s a reason I never think too hard about current events in politics and religion.

It makes my head hurt.

I still think it’s important to keep up with world news, because it’s always good to stay current on which psycho militant Islamic Middle Eastern ruler is planning to blow up the United States during any given week. You know, for personal safety and all.

So when Pope Benedict XVI made what some are calling “negative” remarks about Islam on Sept. 12, I glossed over the media coverage. At least the Vatican wasn’t going to acquire nuclear weapons or send suicide bombers into other countries. But what some offended Muslims have threatened in response to the pope’s words might just constitute a security issue.

I returned to the topic this week to find bloggers had very strong opinions about the incident, which happened something like this:

Benedict was giving a lecture titled, “Faith, Reason and the University” at the University of Regensburg in Germany, where he had formerly been a professor. Just like the title says, he was offering an argument that faith must always be rationalized through basic human reason. According to what I’ve read about the pope, he’s big into the assertion that faith in God, whatever your religious belief, should be reasonable, and he backs it up with scholarship.

For Benedict, that argument doesn’t carry over to the Islamic concept of Jihad, or Holy War. But boy did he pick the wrong “scholarship” to back up his comments — a quote by Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Paleologus in 1391:

“Show me just what Muhammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached,” was the offending passage.

Benedict framed those “anti-Islamic” comments with something I think most people can agree on — that religion and violence are unreasonable and incompatible.

If only he had omitted the previous comment and gone with just this:

“The emperor, after having expressed himself so forcefully, goes on to explain in detail the reasons why spreading the faith through violence is something unreasonable.

Violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul. ‘God,’ he says, ‘is not pleased by blood — and not acting reasonably is contrary to God’s nature. Faith is born of the soul, not the body. Whoever would lead someone to faith needs the ability to speak well and to reason properly, without violence and threats.’”

He was clearly speaking of Jihad, not the whole of the Islamic faith.

Blogcritics.org reprinted a column by blogger Greg Strange, who calls Islam the “Religion of Perpetual Outrage.”

Strange roll calls comments from Muslim leaders and finds this one from Pakistan Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Tasnim Aslam the most ironic:

“Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence.”

I’m guessing Islamic militants have a thorough understanding of the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

Blogger Douglas Farah opines about the many demonstrations that took place in majority-Islamic countries in which effigies of the pope were burned. He says that sort of readiness to fight is what is taught to so many young people in the Middle East:

“When crowds can form in seemingly spontaneous reaction to an obscure and lightly-reported papal speech, it is evidence of an organization that has pre-positioned its people to strike when the opportunity arises. It was the same in the Danish cartoon riots.”

With the Western idea of freedom of speech, non-Muslims rarely have the same reaction when the tables are turned, according to Farah:

“Should the non-Islamic world riot at each anti-Semetic remark from the president of Iran, the Saudi royalty and imams?

“We would have time for nothing else.”

And though his intent was clouded by his quotation, I think that’s what the pope meant. A college professor of mine once said that nothing will change on the terror front until ideas change; until words cease to inspire violence.

I’m not someone who thinks democracy is a one-size-fits-all proposition, but dialogue is at the heart of diplomacy. But why talk if anything you say can be taken out of context to make the situation worse?

The pope, like most of the world, just wants an end to senseless terrorism. Tragically, his words backfired.

Name suggestions for the Hammond Square Mall

The Hammond Square Mall will be going through a major redevelopment beginning in April, and shoppers will be able to go to a completed "open air lifestyle center" beginning in 2008. New stores inclue Target, Outback Steakhouse, The Home Depot and the return of J.C. Penney.

Developers are looking for a new name for the area. Here's where you can post your suggestions.

CNN relieves 9/11 appropriately through news coverage

Country singer Alan Jackson asks this question in his 9/11 tribute song: “Where were you when the world stopped turning?”

I was in my webmastering class as a senior at Hahnville High School in St. Charles Parish.

When jetliners crashed into the Twin Towers that morning, I didn’t know it happened.

When I went to lunch around 10:30 a.m., a friend passed me in the hall and said, “Did you hear about the plane crashing into the World Trade Center?”

I immediately thought of the World Trade Center at the foot of Canal Street in New Orleans. I pictured a small single-engine plane dangling off of one or two floors of that massive white structure. I had been to the top of that building not too long before then to see the rotating restaurant on the top floor, which is now defunct.

Then he corrected me.

I didn’t know exactly what happened until I got off the school bus around 3 p.m.

While my future college classmates were sitting transfixed in front of television sets all day, experiencing the worst attack on American soil as a community, my principal decided to shelter us from the valid opportunity to learn and discuss current events.

When she got on the public address system at the end of the school day and announced a moment of silence for the many who had died in the event, I was dumbfounded. What in the world had happened?

I remember, too, that I wrote an essay that day on the WWI novel “All Quiet on the Western Front,” by Erich Maria Remarque, in English class. I later found out just how fitting that was.

For the five-year anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, CNN.com replayed their coverage from that day in real time, from 8:30 a.m. until 11 p.m.

I took the opportunity to see what I had missed that day. It was amazing to feel the emotions those reporters felt as our nation changed forever. I missed the actual moment the buildings collapsed, but I watched as CNN correspondents grabbed interviews with whomever they could, from congressmen to civilians on the Manhattan streets.

A lot has changed in five years. Pope John Paul II, who called the attacks “inhuman,” is no longer with us. Neither is Yassar Arafat, former Palestinian prime minister, who was seen issuing a statement that day denouncing the terrorists’ actions.

Most of us in southeast Louisiana didn’t truly know the pain of loss and disaster. Hurricane Katrina was another four years away.

Everything I felt that day came rushing back like never before. I watched in anger as CNN showed footage of Palestinians dancing in the street celebrating America’s pain. Senators cried “act of war” and got away with using expletives on air to describe the revenge we would exact on our enemies.

One senator lamented how distracted we had been. Education, health care and the economy, he said, were all minor concerns compared to national security and the safety of the American public.

I marveled at how five years — approximately 1,825 days — could unravel the good things that came out of 9/11 — the unity, pride, patriotism and solidarity we all felt.

Now 9/11 is inevitably tied to the Iraq War and then to oil prices. Discussion of the pros-and-cons of our polarizing President George W. Bush, as was illustrated so clearly in a Monday rant by Chris Matthews on MSNBC.

When I started to mentally rebut Matthews, I had to remind myself that the year was 2006. What seemed so cut-and-dry then isn’t so simple now.

But hopefully, in the years to come, we will continue to remember the victims and what we felt that day apart from current political spin and repercussions. It’s important for us to be reminded just what’s at stake.

I agree with the bumper sticker. We should not forget.

CNN helped me remember and did a service to all Americans by replaying its 9/11 coverage. I only hope they will continue that tradition every year.

Comments on the Mayoral Debate

Here's where you can post your comments about the mayoral debate, which was held Sept. 6 at the KIVA facility at the Cate Teacher Education Center, SLU.

Get your opinions on the candidates out there!

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Note: Here is the news story run in The Daily Star on Sept. 6:

Running for Mayor: Candidates state positions in forum
By Heather Crain

The four Hammond mayoral candidates marketed their strengths and ideas during a political forum Wednesday night at Southeastern Louisiana University.

Those vying for the position are incumbent Mayson Foster, Nick Gagliano, Montee Lemon and Arden Wells. The primary election will be Sept. 30.

Sponsored by local organizations and businesses, the forum was held at the Teacher Education Center in the Kiva room where only a few chairs were vacant.

Steve Bellas, a local broadcast journalist, served as moderator. The time and rules official was Daily Star Publisher Keenan Gingles.

Each candidate gave a three-minute opening remark and a five-minute closing statement. Seven questions were rotated among each contender with three-minute responses and 90-second rebuttals.

The topics included economic development, infrastructure, diversity, education, housing, recreation and safety.

Opening comments
Foster touted his administration’s proven leadership since taking office in January 2003 citing the opening of C.M. Fagan Drive 90 days into his administration, the wetlands assimilation project and the relocation of the Louisiana Army National Guard to the city.

“There is a definite leadership already established in the city of Hammond,” said Foster, a Hammond native and former banker.

Gagliano said he chose to start his career in Hammond after graduating from Louisiana State University. He owns a local marketing and advertising firm.

“I felt that we were a diamond in the rough,” he said. “The potential was unlimited. And 20 years later, I’m proud to say that I’m ready to take on the leadership role to help polish that diamond and make it sparkle for all families in Hammond.”

If elected, Gagliano said he would change the Hammond Planning and Zoning Commis-sion by removing those members who live outside the city limits, including one who lives in Ponchatoula.

“I cannot see the citizens of Ponchatoula allowing a Ham-mond resident to stay on their planning committee,” he said. “We have to make changes.”

Lemon, an employee of Mariner’s Inn, said everyone would be mayor if he were elected. Public transportation, AIDS awareness and education were his key points.

Wells, a local attorney who publicly announced last month that he had withdrawn his bid from the Sept. 30 election for mayor, used his opening address to push his candidacy for Tangipahoa Parish sheriff.

Wells, a Ponchatoula resident, has previously said he is running for Hammond mayor in order to be able to buy uncensored political advertising at political rates.

Moving the seat of Tangipahoa Parish government — including the parish council, courthouse, jail and school board, from Amite to Hammond — was a key point for Wells during the opening.

Economic development
The candidates were asked to identify three components in creating a strategy for an economic development plan.
Foster answered first, saying that the city has already established a plan by working closely with the Hammond Indus-trial Development Board and the Tangipahoa Economic Development Board and by creating the Hammond Area Economic and Industrial Development District.

A new 162-acre business park off Airport Road, a potential Fortune 500 company locating to Hammond and the Small Business Development Center at SLU were his key points. Gagliano said he would establish a position for an economic development director who would be housed at City Hall. Active recruitment and retention would also be key to his economic development strategy. Lemon would create new jobs, promote education and have better communication within the city for his plan. Because of Hurricane Katrina, no one can take credit for the recent growth in the city, Wells said, adding that the elected mayor must ensure proper growth. Hammond must be viewed as the seat of parish government.

Civic center, traffic loop, annexation
Gagliano, whose major platform is upgrading the city’s recreation department, stressed the need for a first-class sports facility to draw people to Hammond.

He also proposed two traffic loops for Hammond on the north and south side, including expanding Club Deluxe Road, and spoke in favor of annexation by giving property owners a property tax incentive.

Wells said he hadn’t given much thought to a traffic loop, although he said there is need for more entrances and exits off the interstates, especially at Natalbany and along Interstate 12. He does not think Hammond needs a civic center because of the present facilities, such as the University Center.

Foster said a civic center is a definite need. The Tangipahoa Parish Tourism Commission is looking into establishing such a facility.

Foster pointed toward the city’s new master street plan available on the city’s Web site, which introduces a traffic loop and other extensions.

Annexation, he said, is not as easy as one thinks. The majority of the property owners and voters in the area must be in agreement in order to annex, and the city has been in negotiations.

Creating environment of inclusion in city
Lemon, the only African-American mayoral candidate, spoke first on the diversity question.

He said he would introduce more socialization into the community by encouraging the various races to socialize outside the workplace, such as church and recreation.

“I want everyone to be mayor with me,” he said. “We need to get along better. We should be a role model and set an example. We have to love one another.”

Diverting from the question, Wells made the assumption that Foster was against gambling and would garner the anti-gambling votes, while Gagliano was pro-gambling.

During his rebuttal, Gagliano refuted Wells’ claim, saying he is against gaming in Hammond. In response to the diversity question, Gagliano said he would actively knock on the doors of the community to learn about the needs of the diverse population.

He also stressed the need for a better-run sports program, which he believes would bring the races together.

Foster pointed toward African American city employees in department head positions as creating racial inclusion, including Director of Administration Martis Jones, the first African American female in the position, and the two men in charge of city finance and purchasing.

Operation Unity was also formed for this purpose soon after he took office, Foster said.

Education
The candidates were asked how they would advance the new education initiative formed by SLU, the Tangipahoa Parish School System, the Hammond Chamber of Commerce and the city.

Again, Wells said he would move the seat of parish government, including the school board, to Hammond. He questioned why residents have to drive 20 miles to Amite to attend school board meetings.

Foster said supporting the school system and SLU is key to further advancing the education initiative.

He mentioned the $60,000 city contribution to the school board that will purchase computers and related items for the in-school magnet program in Hammond.

Education is among Gagliano’s top three points in his 10-point plan. Because education is crucial to economic development, Gagliano said he would work with private and public schools to help them accomplish their goals.

He would also focus on vocational training and start an apprentice program at the city for students.

Lemon also stressed after-school and vocational training for students.

Housing
The candidates were asked what policy they would initiate to create affordable housing that would encompass green space, recreation and retail accessibility.

Foster referred to the new subdivision ordinance passed by the Hammond City Council this week that establishes rules for lot widths, green space, parking, drainage and more.

He also mentioned the city’s role in acquiring a grant to help residents with home down payments.

Wells said he is against government regulation on housing. People should be allowed to do what they want on their land unless it were to cause harm.

Lemon stressed the need to remove blighted houses in Hammond that often house drugs. He said he would get people out of the projects and into nice homes.

Gagliano would establish a zoning committee in each council district that could advise the city on housing needs. He commended the preservation districts such as the Iowa Addition Overlay District and the Hyer-Cate Preservation District and would encourage more of the same.

Recreation
Gagliano, who is president of the South Tangipahoa Youth Soccer Association, said the current amenities are woefully inadequate. He is calling for creating better facilities in Hammond for all sports.

He would establish a sports complex to house baseball, football, soccer and other recreation that would also attract major tournaments. He would also create more basketball courts and expand those already in place.

Restructuring the recreation department will also be a top priority for Gagliano.

Foster said the city’s recreation situation was in bad shape when he took office but positive changes, including more programming, have been made since then.

A recreation district must be implemented for further improvements, Foster said.

Lemon said the city needs an indoor facility on the north and south side of town.

Wells said he would govern and make the best of what recreation facilities the city had, but ultimately, the city isn’t responsible for providing recreation for everyone.

Safety, community policing
Lemon commended the Hammond Police Department and promised to be more involved as mayor. He said criminals should be “scared straight.”

Gagliano said crime is already growing in the city evidenced by a recent robbery at gunpoint at a local store and cars being broken into.

He touted more police pay and a substation on the east side of town. He supported community policing by neighbors looking out for one another.

Wells said the police department is wrought with nepotism and corruption, and he would change that if mayor.

In addressing Wells’ claim of nepotism, Foster said the department is under the civil service code and relatives can likely be hired.

He also said crime numbers are about the same as this time last year. He pointed toward neighborhood watch groups already established and encouraged local businesses to install good cameras.

Closing
Wells said he didn’t get to talk about a lot of issues he wanted to address. Describing Louisiana as an old plantation with many rich and poor people with some middle class, he said political corruption abounds in the parish.

He also claimed that vote buying, especially among the poor African-American community, was a factor in the district attorney and sheriff races and would be a factor in the Hammond mayoral race.

He encouraged African-Americans to remember the sacrifice of civil rights leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and not take bribes.

Lemon again stressed the need for AIDS awareness in Hammond, after-school programs for children and a willingness to work together in city government.

“We have an opportunity to determine our future like never before,” Gagliano said in closing. “It’s a clean slate. We can decide what we want our future to be. It’s time to raise the bar in our city of Hammond.”

Gagliano stressed his platform of being a candidate for all of Hammond’s families.

Foster reiterated the accomplishments of his administration, including the city’s quick response to Hurricane Katrina, the wetlands assimilation project, C.M. Fagan Drive, 120 demolished blighted homes, a council of nonprofit organizations and more.

“This race is about leadership,” he said. “This race is about proven leadership. And I believe that actions speak a lot louder than words. You know it’s easy for people to sit up here and talk about what they’re going to do, but until you’ve sat in that desk and you have the people that are calling you on an on-going basis, you don’t know the pressures that are coming down from every side.”

Losing grip on hip at age 22

I got back to my apartment Thursday night to find my roommate eagerly watching the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards.

Some of her favorite bands were performing, and most of them were winning the little moon man statues given out for the best music videos of the year.

VMA night is one of the only nights of the year one can actually see musicians on the network, but that’s beside the point.

As bands such as Panic! At the Disco, A.F.I. and The All-American Rejects took the stage, I realized something. I’m just not that into mainstream music.

Don’t get me wrong. I listen to B 97.1 FM just as much as the next twentysomething. I keep up with the top 10 songs on iTunes. I even turn on VH1 every once in awhile, especially on Saturday mornings when they air the top 20 music videos of the week. I know what’s out there. I’m just not enamored by it.

The enthusiasm I had for any one genre of music seems to have faded away with my K-12 school years. Back then I loved alternative rock. Bands like the Foo Fighters, Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains seemed like a weird fit for a middle school girl, but I longed to be old enough to go to their concerts.

A few of those bands have stood the test of time, such as New Orleans-based Better Than Ezra and Orange County, California’s No Doubt.

But what was left of the late ‘90s rock and hip-hop scene seems annoying and almost regurgitated. The bands I first mentioned are part of a scene some call “emo,” that is, “emotional rock.” These bands’ piercings, makeup, weird hairstyles and over-the-top wardrobes scream out “we’re not very good musicians, so we need a schtick to be successful.” It’s a post-punk, post-alternative mix of distorted guitar and whiny vocals.

Panic! At the Disco gets creative with its instrumentation, using xylophones and horns, but the formula is still the same. I’ve heard it before being played by much better groups. I’ve realized that being strange for the sake of being strange just isn’t that interesting. And this is coming from someone who used to wear black lipstick in high school. (And no, I don’t consider myself a sell-out.)

Meanwhile, hip-hop, R&B and rap are not much better, although urban music seems to be the most innovative these days. A few years ago, we had the genius of Alicia Keys to save us from teeny bopper “artists” like Rihanna, Ciara and Cassie. Now three notes, a beat and vulgar lyrics will suffice for a hit tune, i.e. The Ying Yang Twins’ “Wait.”

Maybe it’s just that the major labels are marketing to teenagers now more than ever before. But if that’s true, I find it hard to believe that even teenagers like some of this stuff.

Now I find myself retreating into country music, which I admittedly hated for the first 19 years of my life. I find myself listening to 90.9 KSLU (college alternative) and Martini 106.1 (jazz, swing, blues and lounge) just to find some variety. I actually enjoy bluegrass music. If I find an artist I like, I find out who else is on that artist’s (usually independent) record label through the Internet. Or, I go to that artist’s friends pages on MySpace.com. That has become my new means of finding decent music. B 97 surely doesn’t help.

I’m also beginning to pay a lot of attention to Web sites like Pandora.com, which is a network of Internet radio stations that suggests songs based on the artists a user likes. Its creators call it the “Music Genome Project” because they’ve perfected a way to classify different musical traits to group similar tunes together.

Then there’s Last.fm, which tracks songs played on your computer and allows you to link up with people who enjoy the same music. That way, you can share musical discoveries with your online peers.

I now understand why my mom still listens to James Taylor and Barry Manilow. It was the music of her youth, sure, but at least that music had feeling. It came from a deeper place and was about the important things in life, not jewelry, cars and superficialities.

I’m just waiting for the day when I won’t have to actively seek out good music. In some future Utopian society, the satellite radio will be free for all, and eclectic musical tastes will be the norm rather than the exception.

Until then, I’ll keep searching, with a confused iPod full of Justin Timberlake and Dave Barnes songs to tide me over.

Cruise: Crazy and contract-less

In Hollywood, it’s simple.

Drive drunk and make anti-Semitic remarks and keep your movie’s distribution deal with Disney. Jump on Oprah’s couch and lose your 14-year movie contract with Paramount Pictures.

The latter, of course, actually happened to beleaguered superstar Tom Cruise Wednesday. Viacom, the parent company of Paramount Pictures, decided not to renew its contract with Cruise/Wagner Productions, halting finances that would have gone into future Cruise movie projects and specials.

Paramount Pictures chair Sumner Redstone blamed Cruise’s “controversial” behavior for his company’s actions. I like to call it the Scientology effect.

Recall that Cruise has done some questionable things in the past year or so. First there was the couch-jumping incident on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show in May 2005, in which Cruise ranted and raved (like a lunatic) about his love for his new girlfriend, the painfully innocent Katie Holmes. He has single-handedly fashioned the 21st century term for going bonkers: “Jumping the Couch.”

Then there was his battle royale with Matt Lauer on the “Today” show over use of anti-depressants. The “religion” of Scientology bans these drugs and apparently says sufferers can get over their afflictions using “vitamins.” Who knows the history of psychiatry better than anyone? Tom Cruise, of course.

Then there were some other freaky incidents having to do with the birth of Cruise and Holmes’ daughter, Suri. He bought a sonogram machine to do at-home ultrasounds, which, according to experts, isn’t exactly the safest procedure for an untrained person to be doing.

Then he told GQ magazine in April 2006 that he would eat the baby’s placenta. He later reneged on that statement, but there was no other reason for him to say that to a member of the media other than that he is nuts.

There’s a whole Web site devoted to this idea — www.tomcruiseisnuts.com. The site offers Cruise’s thoughts on such topics such as “women,” about which he said, “(Women) smell good. They look pretty. I love women. I do.” Nice use of adjectives there, Tom.

Recently there has been evidence to show that Cruise is no longer the sex symbol and box office go-getter he used to be. While his latest film made in the area of $400 million, at least one recent survey showed women are more than a little turned off by Cruise’s erratic behavior.

A poll by USA Today showed that half of respondents had a “negative” view of Cruise, and another by Marketing Evaluations, Inc. showed the “negative perception” of Cruise had risen 100 percent since mid-2005. If you’re a motion picture company looking to sell movie tickets, those numbers mean quite a lot.

And it’s not that his belief in Scientology has necessarily turned people off to him. Scientology is a “religion” created entirely by the late science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. It has targeted celebrities in order to fund its programs, and quite a few well-known personalities belong to it. Consider that John Travolta, Jenna Elfman (of “Dharma and Greg” fame) and even soul singer Isaac Hayes are Hubbardites. Yet that fact doesn’t seem to contribute to public bad tidings toward them. While their religion is kind of crazy, they’re generally not. But Cruise has crossed the line between being a regular Scientologist to being a proselytizing whacko.

And Americans generally don’t like big-time movie stars with opinions, much less a crazy streak. Rosie O’Donnell learned that the hard way when she ambushed actor Tom Selleck about his views on gun control on her former talk show. Her star’s only just returning now with her upcoming hosting gig on “The View.”

So Tom, for the sake of your as-yet-unseen baby daughter, please keep the crazy talk to a minimum. Babies can’t live on auditing and e-meters alone.

Local's tirade parodied on YouTube.com

Digital video sharing Web site YouTube.com’s slogan is “Broadcast Yourself.”

For many users that means acting goofy and then uploading the video for millions of online viewers to see. That includes parodies of perhaps the most famous contestant on FOX reality show “Trading Spouses,” Ponchatoula’s Marguerite Perrin.

If you don’t know (or remember), Perrin is a self-proclaimed “God Warrior” who was made to live with a family in Massachusetts which was into new age religion. Suffice it to say, Perrin had what the show called “a meltdown of Biblical proportions” upon her Ponchatoula homecoming, yelling and telling everyone who doesn’t believe in Jesus Christ to “get outta (her) house!”

Those words are the title of a short video clip by kallen28, which shows a brunette young woman doing her best Perrin impression — lungs, angst and all.

There’s a similar video from film432 (this time it takes aim at they way Perrin ripped up the “Trading Spouses” prize money).

I counted at least six parodies, but OmenBoy4’s takes the cake. His “Dark Sided Beginnings” is a strange mix of “Star Wars” and “The Omen” with shaky camera work, atmospheric shots and a creepy vibe. The filmmakers say it is their tribute to Perrin. This would have been extremely effective if it hadn’t been put together by 13-year-olds, who also star in the film.

But it comes off as hilarious, which is, of course, the next best thing.

And Perrin’s foray on the Internet doesn’t stop there. In my relentless search for Internet weirdness, I stumbled onto www.margueriteperrin.com.

In an apparent effort to stretch her 15 minutes of fame, Perrin has turned to lampooning even herself. She’s selling downloads and CDs of a single called “Marguerite (Why Can’t You Be Sweet),” which is a pseudo rap song. The rapper sings, “Marguerite, Marguerite, why can’t you be sweet with that gap in your teeth” over clips of Perrin screaming such gems as, “I want my God, my family and a bucket of fried chicken.”

The single’s cover is framed by Perrin’s mouth, the body part that helped her make a name for herself. There are links to clips of her appearances on “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno and even a link to a YouTube.com parody.

In some of the most bizarre pictures I’ve ever seen, Perrin poses with celebrities such as “Hercules’” Kevin Sorbo and VH1 reality show regulars Flavor Flav, Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry. And if you look closely enough through her photo album from the 2005 Billboard Music Awards, you’ll find gossip blogger Perez Hilton in the background.

Unfortunately, Perrin’s site has a bulletin board and commenting features. This gives many malicious people a chance to voice their negative opinion of Perrin, putting her in an almost constant state of having to defend herself. And apparently the site had been attacked and replaced with pornography at some point in the past.

While it’s good that she’s learned to laugh at herself, the site makes Perrin seem almost like a cartoon character.

The site is touted as the “Official God Warrior” Web site, so maybe she’s a superhero.

A bobblehead doll of Perrin sold on eBay for $870, which was bought by Leno and presented during her appearance on “The Tonight Show.” She’s already got an action figure.

Here’s an idea for a great YouTube clip – Marguerite Perrin running around Ponchatoula in a God Warrior superhero costume, fighting crime and stopping criminals with her Banshee-like shreik. It could almost be Oscar-worthy with a $50,000 budget (that’s the amount of money the Perrin family received from “Trading Spouses.”)

Only on the Internet.

Track record not good for reality TV marriages

When singer Jessica Simpson made her famous remarks about tuna (shouldn’t Chicken of the Sea actually be chicken?), I knew her marriage to fellow singer Nick Lachey would probably crumble.

The couple’s MTV reality show, “Newlyweds,” lasted three seasons in 2004 and 2005. Like with most reality shows, the producers manipulated the footage to characterize Simpson as a ditzy anti-homemaker and Lachey as a down-to-earth, laundry-doing normal guy.

Whether those images are correct doesn’t really matter now. MTV, Simpson and Lachey made their money, and the pair became almost exponentially more famous. But that success came at the cost of their marriage.

I shouldn’t have had an opinion on the prospects of a lasting union between these two, but when their relationship was on display for hours on end on a popular cable channel, it’s hard not to care. Maybe Lachey just saw the warped view of his wife the rest of America was seeing.

And when the split became public, the couple’s cry for privacy was almost a slap in the face to their fans, who couldn’t understand why they could watch the first year of marriage yet be cut off from the divorce drama.

Even Lachey himself admitted the damage the show did to his relationship in an interview in Rolling Stone.

“Jessica and I began playing these parts even when we were by ourselves. It became a really blurred line. There was a question about what truly was our reality,” he said. “When you are on a reality show, your life ceases to be reality. It becomes TV.”

Over the weekend I ashamedly watched another marriage-on-display, that of “Brady Bunch” alumnus Christopher Knight and tenuously famous Adrianne Curry, winner of the first “America’s Next Top Model.” Their show is called “My Fair Brady.”

Curry met Knight on the set of another VH1 reality show, “The Surreal Life.” Her career, her relationship, really her entire life at this point, are all tied to reality television. When Curry finally realizes that real “reality” is not TV “reality,” she might go a little more crazy than she already is.

The track record for reality marriages is not good.

Within the past month, two couples featured in MTV shows have called it quits. Model Carmen Electra and rock musician Dave Navarro broadcasted their weird 2004 nuptials on a gothic-themed show called “Til Death Do Us Part.”

I guess that whole “til death” thing was only until the glow of reality show celebrity started wearing off. Then again, Electra did marry basketball bad boy Dennis Rodman in 1998, so her sense of “reality” was already questionable.

Then there’s Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker and beauty queen Shanna Moakler, whose marriage ended in divorce after two years. The two had starred in “Meet the Barkers” on MTV. The really sad part here is that the couple’s children had been paraded on television as well. But at ages 2 and 8 months, at least the kids will be able to see their parents in a loving relationship, even if it has been edited and set to music.

It’s interesting that possibly the strongest marriage to be shown on reality TV was actually set up on reality TV — that of “Bachelorette” Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter. They were married in 2003 and appear to be going strong.

And here’s one to watch: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. The pair qualify as a “reality” couple through “Chaotic,” the UPN show that documented much of their early relationship and some of their engagement. Cameras have certainly not helped the couple gain any more respect, but will cameras destroy their relationship? Only time will tell.

Outrage over Mel Gibson's tirade misplaced

News flash: Mel Gibson is an anti-Semite.

That was the big story coming out of Hollywood last week. Cable news channels seemed like broken records discussing the many facets of “Melgate,” and blogs used their best Internet real estate on drunken pictures of the “Lethal Weapon” star.

If you run a Google search on Gibson and hadn’t heard anything about his drunken driving arrest in California on Aug. 4, you probably wouldn’t learn very much about the crime itself. Many columnists are dead set on nailing Gibson, director of “The Passion of the Christ,” as a Christian hypocrite, and apparently, public enemy No. 1.

Gibson had been speeding down the Pacific Coast Highway and blew a 0.12 on the breathalyzer. Initial reports said he was arrested without incident, but he allegedly launched into a tirade that included anti-Semitic remarks, such as, “F*** Jews... the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.”

The arresting officer was Jewish and told the Associated Press that he wasn’t particularly offended by Gibson’s remarks. He chalked it up to a drunken man acting stupid.

Meanwhile, there is outrage in Hollywood, much of which is controlled by Jewish producers and directors. Barbara Walters said she would never see another Gibson film. Rob Schneider of “Deuce Bigalow” fame took out an ad in Variety to state that he would never work with Gibson (not that Mel would be interested in the next installment of “The Animal” anytime soon).

Disney, which is promoting Gibson’s upcoming epic “Apocalypto” is running scared. ABC said it halted plans for a Gibson-produced miniseries on the Holocaust.

But they’re not outraged that Gibson was speeding excessively with an open container of tequila by his side. They’re not outraged that he was endangering the lives of the general public. They’re not outraged that he was breaking one of our country’s most important laws.

It’s sad that more air time and attention is given to what a drunken man said than to what he did.

Don’t get me wrong. I definitely think what he said was, in his words, “despicable.” But when the murder of six Jewish women at the Jewish Federation office in Seattle got second billing, for a time, to Gibson’s story on the Anti-Defamation League’s Web site, there’s certainly a disconnect.

The fact remains that disliking, or even hating, a group of people is not against the law. This “thought crime,” as columnist Zev Chafets put it, won’t do much for Gibson, who relies on public perception to keep his movie projects greenlighted. But if it were a non-celebrity, the nature of his remarks wouldn’t even be an issue.

I find it “despicable” that the important issue of drunken driving is being overshadowed by Gibson’s remarks. In Louisiana in 2004, 38 percent of all 904 fatal crashes were alcohol-related. A friend of mine lost her father to a drunken driver earlier this year, and I’m sure every one of my readers has a similar story.

Gibson is now in a position to do some real good by advocating for groups such as Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

He has had his troubles with alcohol in the past, and I think if he can clean up and continue to be vocal about his ordeal, he will help others who may be in the same situation. He has apparently gone into rehab, and hopefully he will not be given preferential treatment when he is brought up on his charges.

I suppose with the war between Israel and Lebanon still raging, Americans are especially sensitive about hateful remarks against our allies. But I have to believe that the threat of motorists dying is much more important than an actor’s drunken, un-acted-upon tirade.

News on the Hammond Mall

This is for an anonymous commenter on the last post from Daily Star Managing Editor Lil Mirando:

"The mall's new owners -- Palace Properties -- are going to announce their plans to upgrade Hammond Square Mall in September. They have already announced that the new Hammond mall will be twice as big as it is now. We'll know more in September. They already have their plans in place, but they are not ready to announce it to the public yet."

A quick note: All off-topic posts from now on will be deleted. If I need to respond to any questions raised in an off-topic post, I will do so in a new post. Also, any comments about Daily Star news coverage or letters to the editor will be forwarded to the appropriate people by email and then deleted. Remember that if you want a specific response to something, please identify yourself and leave contact information. We can't reply to "anonymous."

We need your input...

You can always leave your stories as comments to this entry.

Gossip columnists, bloggers coerce Bass out of closet

Even if you've never heard of boy band *NSync, you've by now heard of the group's former bass singer, Lance Bass.

Bass, a native of Laurel, Miss., revealed Thursday to People magazine that he is gay. It wasn't a big surprise to gossip blogger Perez Hilton, who has made it his personal mission to "out" Bass.

Over the last few months, Hilton has hammered out stories about Bass and his boyfriend, "Amazing Race" season four winner Reichen Lemkuhl. Apparently Bass and Lemkuhl, who is openly gay, were spotted at different events wearing each other's shirts.

That, in gossip blogger-land, is apparently convincing evidence.

More stories followed about clubgoers seeing the couple in a gay bar in Provincetown, Mass.

Pretty soon the mainstream media picked up on the brewing speculation. For many longtime *NSync fans and celebrity watchers, Bass' revelation was a "well, duh" moment. But, as with most stories coming out of Hollywood, Bass had his reasons to come forward. (Remember when Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced their breakup the night before Thanksgiving just to spite celebrity journalists?)

Bass knew his story was about to move beyond the pages of perezhilton.com in a big way.

He told People: "The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that (the rumors) were really starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God, so there's really nothing else I worry about."

But Hilton's mission, and that of gay and lesbian newspaper the Washington Blade, doesn't stop with Bass. They're out to "out" others, such Star Wars' Hayden Christensen, "Brokeback Mountain's" Jake Gyllenhaal, "American Idol" runner-up Clay Aiken, singer Ricky Martin and even actor Matthew McConaughey.

"I know there is some controversy about outing people, but I also believe the only way we're gonna have change is with visibility," Hilton told entertainment television show Access Hollywood. "And if I have to drag some people screaming out of the closet, then I will."

Hilton says celebrities who live an "openly closeted" lifestyle and deny their homosexuality publicly perpetuate the idea that an actor or singer cannot be successful and gay at the same time. And that, whether out of shame or a simple business decision, makes it more acceptable for the public to be intolerant toward gays.

While that is a noble sentiment, it's a course of action at least one gay and lesbian rights association disagrees with.

Damon Romine, entertainment and media director of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, has stated that coming out is a personal decision and not something that should be speculated upon by the media.

If Bass truly wanted to be left alone, he should not have shown up at the clubs or engaged in what one columnist Chris Rovzar called "man sharing."

It's a terrible way to live, but it's both a celebrity's blessing and curse.

U.S. free speech laws make it difficult to prove defamation in the case of both public officials and celebrities. Being "public" is part of how they make a living. If Bass were a low-key college student, surely the outcome would be different.

And frankly, I love reading about my favorite celebrities. Without speculation, gossip would almost cease to be.

Yet I have to question Hilton's motivations. He says his crusade is to further gay rights, and that is great. But I seriously doubt that the outing of a few high-profile celebrities will single-handedly stop hate crimes and discrimination against gays. His energy and zeal would be better put to use speaking out against these things and making political statements.

After all, what good are celebrities to a cause if they refuse publicly to identify with it?

We've got Brad Pitt advocating for environmentally-sound rebuilding in New Orleans, Angelina Jolie advocating for orphans in Third World countries and Perez Hilton advocating for Tom Cruise to come out of the closet.

Which one would make more of a difference in the world?

Riding the information superhighway to a new home

Each weekend, American interstates and highways become an underground railroad for rescued pets.

They’re on "transports," in which volunteers take turns driving part of the way from point A to point B — usually from a shelter to an adoptive home. Sometimes those two points are many states and a few overnight stops away.

But before these lucky dogs (or cats) hit the road, they’ve already taken a ride on the information superhighway. They’ve probably been the subject of a blog or two, and they’ve most likely graced a message board or mailing list. They probably also have their own Web page at PetFinder.com or other rescue Web sites. (How many of us are this popular?)

In the face of today’s huge pet overpopulation problem, the more exposure a pet can get online, the better. And unlike Britney Spears, they don’t mind the attention.

Betty Dorsey of Knoxville, Tenn., said before the Internet, her rescue efforts to place adoptable dogs in new homes relied on word-of-mouth and local newspaper ads.

"It's definitely more efficient... you get so many more dogs adopted (online)," she said. "We've gotten calls from all over New England, as far west as California and even from overseas."

Of course, overseas transports would be pretty stressful on the animals, but it just goes to show the power of a cute picture and a short blurb on a Web page.

A springer spaniel named Freddie got Amelia Hudson of Baton Rouge interested in rescue in 1990 after she rescued the dog from a neglectful owner. That experience led her to other rescue work both for springers and other breeds. She now helps with transports whenever she can.

She credited the Internet with helping her improve her rescue operations, and since 2002 she has rescued 70 springers.

"I had difficulty finding what I considered to be acceptable adoptive families (for my dogs)," she said.

Then she got in contact with national group English Springer Rescue of America. ESRA had "stringent adoption standards" that included online applications, phone screenings, checks of veterinarian care histories and home visits. Now, instead of waiting for a local family, Hudson can network with people across the country that ensure that her dogs are going to good homes, no matter where they are.

And then the transports begin.

I found a transport list for Mia on Yahoo! group gulfcoast_rescue_n_transport. Mia is a 1-year-old pit bull that was taken off the streets in Houston. Because of her breed, authorities there threatened to put her down. But Mia’s finders wanted to get her back to their house near Tampa, Fla. They just needed a little help in doing that.

Because of traffic and other delays, Mia spent all day — from 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. — on the road. But she is now in a safe, loving home. It's a wonderful feeling to know that just by driving her from Baton Rouge to Slidell, I made her new life possible. It took less than two hours of my time and about a half tank of gas.

This is low-committment animal rescue, but it is vital nonetheless. It's proof that anyone can get involved with some aspect of animal rescue, regardless of how little time or money is available.

Dorsey said that no matter what type of breed or pet, there's a rescue organization dedicated to it. And all of those organizations can be national with the help of the Internet. You can shop online with companies that donate a portion of their proceeds to rescue, you can donate money or supplies to shelters, you can transport animals or you can spend time volunteering at the local shelter. None of those things require you to take an animal into your home.

But if you do have that opportunity, search for a local shelter or rescue on PetFinder.com. They're always looking for people to foster dogs and cats before they are adopted.

So the next time you see a dog happily riding shotgun down the interstate, know that he or she could be riding to freedom and a new life. All they need are a few good volunteers.

Resources:
Dorsey's all-breed rescue can be found at www.grreatdogrescue.com
English Springer Rescue of American can be found at www.springerrescue.org.
Start your search at www.PetFinder.com or groups.yahoo.com.

Election issues.

What are some of the most important issues candidates need to address in the Sept. 30 election?

(There will be races for Hammond mayor, city council seats and Tangipahoa School Board in addition to races in Kentwood and Tickfaw.)

Lot requirements, recreation and traffic are just three hot issues. Are there more?

The rules of blogging...

Blogs are funny things.

They’re an interesting mix of observation, conversation, analysis, opinion, news and sometimes art.

The writer doesn’t have to be witty, nor does the topic have to be all that interesting for Internet controversy to start brewing.

Earlier this year I attended the Southeast Journalism Convention at Emory University in Decatur, Ga. Blogs, or “web logs,” were the hot topic of many sessions. I heard from college professors who analyzed the importance of blogs in modern news reporting and their pros and cons for the average web user.

Overwhelmingly, blogs were seen as a positive force. Yes, blogs were responsible for their fair share of publicizing rumor and urban legend. But they make it simple for anyone who knows how to surf the Internet to upload his or her own content. That fact alone has shifted the way
information gets to the public.

Before blogs, newspaper editors and publishers set the agenda and spread information. Now regular people can do the same thing.

But the other interesting thing about blogs are their ability to record real-time feedback from readers, who can mostly choose to remain anonymous. Sure, letters to the editor are a great way to voice your opinion, but anything you say has to be tempered by the fact that your
name is attached to it.

People get mighty brave under the guise of anonymity. I’ve read some pretty nasty things posted on blogs, and even directed toward me personally, that would never have been said to my face. But that’s the price you pay when you put your thoughts on the digital page.

My recent posts about Britney Spears on hammondstar.blogspot.com have garnered a few snide remarks. Personally, I think it’s everyone’s right to have an opinion on Spears, but a few of my readers think otherwise. I’ve gotten responses that range from, “Who the hell cares about Britney?” to “Who gives a flying flip about Britney?” So I might have been mistaken when I thought readers would care about her. If not for the blog, I might never have gotten those responses.

And there’s been a tiny bit of controversy as of late over something I want to clear up. Someone answered my “should Britney move back to Kentwood?” question with a command to become more “informed” about what our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan are going through for the promise of a free education.

My columns are entertainment-related and are not about war, death and international diplomacy for a reason. The Daily Star (and for that matter, numerous Internet news sites) does a great job of reporting on those serious issues. Just because I don’t write about “serious” topics does not mean I don’t care about them.

On that same note, please keep in mind that The Daily Star does not upload everything to its website. So please do not think that just because something is not on the website that we have not included it in the paper.

So with that said, I want to invite you to enter the blogosphere. From time to time I’ll be posting some “real news” opinion questions for readers to answer. I’ve already posted a few. There’s one about about lot sizes in Tangipahoa that I wish more people would respond to since zoning is such a vital topic in our expanding parish.

And of course, there’ll be celebrity, entertainment and blogger news from me.

If you're interested in the wider blogosphere...

Try technorati.com. This site is like an index of independent blogs. There are photo and video blogs as well as blogs on just about any topic.

Have fun surfing! :)

Blogging the news from Hollyweird

I knew it was only a matter of time before I wrote a blog about a blog.

Indeed there are many enlightening, artistic and educational blogs out there in the so-called "blogosphere." Web surfers can take advantage of the opinions and insights of intellectuals and swap stories with people who share their hobbies. Public discourse is now a clickable comment away.

But I'm not here to talk about those blogs. I'm here to talk about what's really important — Hollywood gossip. And Internet bloggers have this topic covered even more thoroughly than the war in Iraq or the North Korean missile crisis.

My two favorite spots for all the weird news fit to upload are perezhilton.com and dlisted.com. (A word to parents — these sites sometimes fall on the raunchy side. And that's almost a necessity in order to report about people like Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton.)

Perez Hilton (AKA Miamian Mario Lavandeira) averages 700,000 readers on his site each day. His blog rose in popularity after he published some of the first paparazzi pictures of lovebirds Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt together. Like most other celebrity blogs, most of Hilton's information comes from weekly magazines (and he somehow manages to get the scoop before they even hit grocery store shelves).

Recent topics include the birth of actor Russell Crowe's second baby boy, a fire at Ozzy Osbourne's mansion and speculation that "Scrubs" star Zach Braff could be dating newly-single singer Jessica Simpson. Not to mention Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' mysterious baby girl Suri, who's now nearly three months old and has apparently never left Cruise's home.

There's the familiar obsession with naming celebrity couples (do Bennifer, Brangelina and TomKat ring any bells?). Hilton's readers' latest suggestion is "Minnillo BlahNick" for Simpson's ex Nick Lachey and MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo.

Hilton also attempts (sometimes unsuccessfully) to start language trends.

His last buzzword, "peppered," roughly meaning "really cool" was quickly taunted by readers.

He's buddies with his namesake, Paris, and he also hangs out with troubled young actress Lindsay Lohan. And even though the former journalist claims everything on his site is true, his recent omission of Paris' hit-and-run accident shows where his loyalties lie. (With the money, of course.)

If you've ever wondered who that strange chubby guy was commentating on VH1 or E!, it was probably Hilton.

Then there's DListed, which is put together by New Yorker Michael K. What DListed lacks in "culture" (if you can call a pink layout and digital graffiti on paparazzi photos "culture"), it makes up in sarcasm. Michael K offers the "news" along with his no-holds-barred commentary. It's usually scathing.
DListed also features celebrity birthdays and news on films currently in production. (I learned that July 6 was both President George W. Bush and the Dalai Lama's big day, so maybe these blogs aren't totally useless.)

Michael K's nickname for Paris Hilton is "Parasite." And while he doesn't have any ties to real celebrities, I think his distance from Hollywood makes him a true celebrity observer. He's just like any one of us looking in from the outside, just with better sources. And while that might cost him a few of Hilton's sought-after "world exclusives," I think it makes him more credible.

As credible as a gossip monger can be, that is.

These days the definition of "real news" is expanding, thanks to 24/7 cable news networks, blogs and the public's apparent need to be entertained. Hilton and Michael K are only two of the hundreds of bloggers out there, and with a few clicks, anyone can join their ranks.

These men have made entire careers out of being shameless and adept at finding, stealing or creating information. It also helps that they're not afraid of being sued, but that's another blog altogether.

So go ahead and enjoy the fluffy stuff. With all the depressing things going on in the world and especially southeast Louisiana, I think we all deserve to be entertained by the news every now and then. The great thing about celebrity news is that entertainment is exactly what it's supposed to be.

Renee Allemand should not be held responsible if you actually end up liking Paris Hilton's singing voice. She gets calls at 254-7817 and e-mails at webmaster@hammondstar.com.